Frequently Asked Questions

The best way to get in contact is to fill out the contact box at the bottom of the page. I’ll then get in contact with you. I’ll ask you to complete some intake forms before booking a session. You can also contact me at rebecca.butler@thebasehealth.com.au or on 0452 102 325 if preferred.

Developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt in 1980, Imago Relationship Therapy is a form of relationship and couples therapy that focuses on relational counseling to transform any conflict between couples into opportunities for healing and growth.

The Latin word “imago”—meaning “image”—refers to the “unconscious image of familiar love.” What we find is that there is frequently a connection between frustrations in adult relationships and early childhood experiences. As an example, individuals frequently criticized as a child will likely be highly sensitive to their partner’s criticism. Childhood feelings of abandonment, suppression or neglect will often arise in a marriage or committed relationship.

When such “core issues” repeatedly come up with a partner, they can overshadow all that is good in a relationship and leave one to wonder whether he or she has chosen the right mate.

Through Imago Relationship Therapy, couples can learn to understand each other’s feelings and “childhood wounds” more empathically, allowing them to heal themselves and their relationships so they can move toward a more “Conscious Relationship.”

As illustrated in Dr. Hendrix’s New York Times bestselling book, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, learning and teaching the “Imago Dialogue” allows couples to move from blame and reactivity, to understanding and empathy, so they can create a deeper and loving connection with each other. Click here for website

From conflict to hope

At some point in their relationship, couples often find themselves struggling with anger and shock, despair and sadness. Some are newlyweds, and can’t understand how they have plummeted from the heights of love and glory into a swamp of hopelessness and conflict. Others have been married for many years, and though they have been slogging along – in calm or storm – their days of wine and roses are a dim memory. Even if life at home is relatively peaceful, couples lament that they have “nothing in common anymore.” And so they lead a disappointed or angry co-existence, each with their own friends and interests, in a marriage of convenience, or an arrangement they endure “for the sake of the children.”

Shattered dreams, whatever form they take, are painful. But there is hope. In fact, the pain and conflict of committed relationships arise not out of lack of love for our partners, but from a misunderstanding of what love relationships are about. Your conflict can be the very fuel for the fulfillment you seek.

https://youtu.be/jAxdTMd6qZc (video of Imago Therapy)

It can be tough if you’re keen to work on your relationship but your partner isn’t yet. It’s important that you still get some support for yourself. You can book in to see me for individual sessions. You will be able to access a Mental Health Care Plan from your GP to subsidies these sessions.

There are some situations where it may not be the best starting point. In these cases, other support may be needed first:

• Safety concerns – If there is ongoing violence, intimidation, or fear in the relationship, joint sessions are not safe. Individual support and safety planning should come first. Please advise me of any AVO’s or Court matters in the intake process. Taking part in a Men’s Behaviour Change Program can be an important step to addressing safety.

• Untreated mental health or addiction issues – If one or both partners are experiencing unmanaged substance use or acute mental health difficulties, individual treatment is usually the priority.

If any of these situations apply, I can provide some individual session with each partner to help explore the right next steps — whether that’s individual counselling, referrals, or other supports — before couple therapy begins.

In the first session I spend some time getting know each of you. I then gain a deeper understanding of what has been happening for each of you in the relationship and map your relationship dynamics and patterns. I also want to hear about your relationship hopes and goals. The first two sessions are focused on assessment and learning some foundational understandings and skills in Imago therapy.

• Short-term support – Some couples find that 4–6 fortnightly sessions give them enough tools and insights to make meaningful changes.

• Deeper work – For longer-standing patterns or more complex issues, therapy often takes place over 10 -20 fortnightly sessions or more.

• Ongoing support – Once couples have received some intensive support and made progress, they choose to continue meeting less frequently, as a way to continue strengthening their connection and prevent old patterns from returning.

We’ll regularly check in on your progress together and assess the best way forward.

Not at all. While many couples come to therapy during a crisis or at a turning point, it can also be very helpful at other stages. Attending couple therapy or coming along to a weekend workshop can support you to:

• Strengthen communication and connection

• Navigate life transitions (such as becoming parents, blended families, retirement)

• Rebuild intimacy and trust

• Work through recurring patterns of conflict before they become bigger problems

• Deepen your understanding of each other and grow together

Think of it as relationship maintenance as much as crisis support — just like we service a car to keep it running smoothly, therapy can help couples tune up their relationship before things break down.

Separation is a difficult time for the whole family and support at this crucial time can make all the difference. I provide support for separating couples, these can be joint and/or individual sessions. The focus of these sessions is around supporting the family relationships and may include a focus on the following areas; enabling a smoother transition from being partners to co-parents; discussing how to talk to and support children; providing emotional support and supporting communication between parents. Please note I do not provide mediation, parenting plans or financial settlements. This service is also not appropriate if there are safety concerns or Court involvement.